just another day in life's vicious circle.....

so my day starts off with me rolling over and givin the man a smoochie and getting on the ball to go to my nan's wake and chris as usual stays in bed as i rummage around to get stuff ready and such.....so i decide to call my mom to see if shes ok and to my surprize she's in bed and not going....well i wouldnt have it...so we get our showers and go to pick her up...we get to the first wake and we're late so my mother decides she doesnt wanna go in so we take her back to my place to talk and chill for a bit to get her mind off the goins on....meanwhile im in agony not knowing exactly what to say to make the situation any better so she keeps herself occupied with solitare on the commputer and mending the hem in her pants but the time is drawing nearer and nearer to when she has to face the funeral home...I, on the other hand, want nothing to do with going in and seeing "my grandmother" btw it looks nothing like her i took a short visit in to see her while my mom waited in he car and i never even recognized her....so we drop my mom off and she stars her jorney without me and my sister takes over the grieving process wih my mother....its so hard to grasp the thought that someday i am going to have to go through the same thing my mom is but only with different names on the obituaries...i do not want to go b4 my mom just for the simple fact that it would crush my mom's very being to go b4 her children but on the otherhand i dont want to look at my mom and think the same thing i thought when i seen my grandmother there lying lifelessly...that doesnt look like my mom there cold and bloodless....god pray i dont have too much to regret when my mom passes...i vow to spend more time with my father and mother knowing well that every second wasted is time i will regret....make what you will of this but remember regret is a harsh reality...do something b4 its too late.....