HUGS FOR ME

*HUGS* TOTAL!give georginareid more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

thoughts of me as a child....literature from my earlier dayz.....

feel (1994)

how can people smile at a baby's face?
with their first cleansing smoke filled breath, their wrinkles grow
why should we smile for our something that will soon fill their nothing?
use a few more muscles and smack the mother's face

death (1994)

life does mean death
becasue when you are born
you are given life
when you die your life is taken away
wether it is from another human or god
so dont praise life praise death
it's the only thing you get to keep forever
there might be life after death, reencarnation, whatever you believe
but you still die
period

bolt (1994)

cold winds blow south for summer
then come back in winter
people who commit the punishment do more then the punished
why do they get to be here unpunished?

birth of a pesamistic half empty thinker (1995)

im not a model
im just an idol
can you come closer to me
to be or not to be
shakespear was a wise man
not too many people understood his ways
i wanna understand him
but im too late
79 was a bad year
the model was born without a face
refresh my memory
i dont remember anything from my naivety

movin is so exciting

me and chris have been livin out of boxes now for like a month.................i hate putting things off and this is just another of my perpetual things i have to deal with in life..............moving.....what can i say about that.......new brunswick is it..we're gonna stay with jamie and sean and with chris's sister ashley...i cant wait...we're gonna need a hand for the first month or 2...but we have it covered we're gonna stay here till all the bills from here are gone...that will be feb 18th....so the next day we'll be all packed and ready to go......i gave most of my apartment stuf to my sister who can always use the extra stuff....and the couch and chair are goin to joey....the tv coputer microwave dishes pots and stereo dvd x-box well the electronic stuff are coming wif us and thats it oh and my bed.....we're gettin that stuff shipped up as soon as we get the apartment.....and then in september james gray and his woman evelyn are movin to nb and we're gonna look for a bigger place together.....i cant wait......i love james and havent really hung out wif him in forever....so thats gonna "rock on" as he would say...............
so we have a few things to pay off first and then we'll be scott free of bills while we're there except insurance and car payment so all the money can go towards first and last months rent and a damage deposit...im assuming it will be close to 1250 we'll need to save.....so that shouldnt take too too long...........we're probably goin for call center jobs at first then chris is goin for a it job and im gonna try for a classy resort or hotel restaurant for the tips and stuff......hopefully we'll get something dayshift and close to one another.......im sure we're in this relationship for the long haul....we may have our fights and hard times....and think this is the last straw...and i might reep and cry about it with friends...wink wink (jamie)......but we're gonna be fine i just need to rant to someone outside the relationship sometimes......thanks a bunch.......so off to another day closer to moving....yippeeeeeeeeeeee
ps today is the mans 23rd b-day..........
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear chris
happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuu
love you xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

edmonton or BUST.....

i have an idea in my head for me and chris to become these 2 amazing money savers for the next year as we journey to living away from both of our families and venture off to edmonton and live with some distant relatives of chris and see where that can put us in a year....im hoping this will put us ahead of all of our bills and move forward with our lives with a clean slate.....as it stands now we are in bills up to our ying yangs and its mostly chris's and its hard to make room for mine.....im not sure what he'd be doing without me and visa versa but i have been putting ALL of my bills on the back burners to pay for his....sometimes i throw it in his face when we fight and i dont want to do that...i want our bills to be just as important as the others and not one being more then the other.......we have a long way to go and hopefully a year in "money land" will put us ahead of the game......i am very stoked to move to a major city with the only person i am going to need to grow old with and hope that everything goes well and not sour.....chris lived away from home b4 with a prior relationship and tat ended badly and i dont want the same for us.......we are great together and though we take each other for grantit sometimes we are there for each other when we need it......i havent felt this close to a boyfriend ever hense the term....x-boyfriend.......i dont want to ever refer to chris as an x and am goin to do all i can to make him happy.......
so we're heading er to edmonton to make some money and we are doing it without his car so we're gonna have to make friends very quickly and get drives to and from werk.....i dont think ill find it very hard but chris on the other hand is very shy and underspoken....so i might have to halp him out there...and not to mention i am the JEALOUS girlfriend and i hope he doesnt end up with a girl as a good friend where we end up.......but he does get along better with guys so im crossing my fingers for that bridge when it comes up......i cant imagine chris being so dumb as to befriend a girl but we'll ahve to se i guess....i on the other hand get along better with guys so i guess ill have to comprimise....i have alot of trust in chris but not fully.....(past relationships die hard)....and i try to keep that trust issue at a minimal but sometimes it creates a problem but we usually talk through it and overcome the obsticle......
edmonton is going to be a big jump for both of us...neither one of us even visited or vacationned there ever.....so its going to be an eye opener at the least.....if my friend Deanna can pick up and go to Korea for a whole year with a week visit home in over a year i can do it too......we were goin to go to ontario but chris first move with a girl was there and i dont want to relive any past issues he had in our relatioship.....we do have an open mind when it comes to what we want to do with the rest of our lives and what the other will need to do to help the other out......we cant decide on a place to settle the rest of our lives in together but at least we know its goin to be with each other.......we have a very loving relationshiop with alot of "i love yous" and "baby" and "xxxxxooooo" but love isnt all a relationship needs and im the first to tell anyone that....you can love someone with all your heart but if the other doesnt feel the same then your "stuck between a rock and a hard place"........love is a four letter word that means nothing if the intentions of both arent closely the same.......if you both love each other and one decided to become an orgy instructor from some spiritual eye opener....and demonstrate tactics on their students.....can love really hold that relationship together .....NOPE.....
i hope everything works out for me and chris and we overcome our bill situation and grow closer and closer to each other as the days away from our families......i hope it pulls us together and not apart......i want to grow old with this guy......i hope i someday make him feel exactly the way i do.....maybe he does already and im not reading in between the lines?..........
i love you baby and i hope to make you happy day by day......